Living Out Your 20's

Sometimes you have to grab life by the balls and woman up.  This expression especially applies to you if you’re in your early 20’s.  This is an exciting time of your life to take the chances you’ve always dreamed of doing.  Be fearless.  Establish once and for all who you are and distinguish that firm ground of which you stand for in this world.  Dig deeper into your heart; what do you want in life? What don’t you want in life? CREATE your purpose in this world.  Explore faith and commit to something bigger than yourself.   Become active in your community and discover hidden talents/passions.  There is so much to experience in this world if you just break free and give yourself the right opportunities.  After all, no one truly creates opportunities for you but yourself- be proactive about it and start NOW.

During your 20’s you’ll experience a wild roller coaster of emotions.  I say this with confidence from experiencing what seemed like more downs than ups in the past year.  But stay positive!  The world as you know it is changing.  It’s by no means coming crashing down- though at times that is how it seems with life’s challenges.  Embrace those difficult times as motivation to push through it being mindful that something better is coming ahead.  Learn from those obstacles; in the long run they show you hard work pays off- you’ll feel accomplished and discover a new strength within and find yourself more of a well-rounded individual with useful advice for peers alike.

 Obviously its fall right now, but hypothetically we are each experiencing our own unique seasons.  Some of your friends are beginning to advance in college and soon will be onto their “real world” careers.  Some friends are entering the serious relationship season in life; engagement, marriage, or starting their own family.  Others are still stuck in the same root their comfortable with and settle within that season- Don’t let that be you!
No one wants to be stuck in winter longer than the four months they already have to deal with it- eventually it’s time to move on.
I encourage you root settlers to replant yourself in an unfamiliar setting challenging yourself.  You never know, something great could come from it.. if not, what a great learning experience that turned into for you J This is where I was in life.  I was stuck comfortably rooted in small town Minocqua, Wisconsin.  But where was that getting me?  Where I’ve always been.

 September 28^th I decided I had enough and needed to transition into the next season.  So I took a chance.  By September 30^th I said my goodbyes, typed the new destination into my gps, and began my journey towards a fresh start in the Twin Cities.

....To be continued as I live each day one day at a time :)

Over That Drama..

"When you're faced with the sin of someone else's pride, your first instinct isn't holiness. The natural human reaction is retaliation or revenge. In fact, other people's sin can become an excuse for your sin if you're not careful. "But she started it" or "how dare he" you say, game on! When they sin, your sense of fairness kicks in, and the last thing on your mind is meekness and obedience. That's how things get started-- fights, arguments, bitterness. Troubled relationships start with lack of humility, which keeps us from finding peace when others are sinning. It's as if your mind decides that it's not fair that you have to be good when they're being so bad. But that's human thinking, not godly thinking.

In any relationship it's crucial for you to know what God commands instead of relying on what other people do. In every battle you have to choose what God wants you to choose, even if the result will be your humiliation. It seems counterintuitive, but mean people are changed not by your retaliation but by your prayer. So go to God in prayer instead of going to them in anger. Trust that his law is good even if it seems unfair. And you will find yourself with more peace than you know what to do with."

That is from a devotional in my bible that I couldn't help but to share. I think this is a great devotional because like I have stated before I don't like when people are rude to others. Or as I stated before I don't have tolerance for bitches. It is far too easy to retaliate when someone hurts your feelings. In fact, isn't that what the person is looking for? They strive to get to you and feed on the drama. Instead, try to keep your cool and refrain from the natural human instincts to fight back. There is no gain from playing the hurting game. Neither person will feel better off about themselves. Sure, getting something off your chest might make you feel better, for that moment, but it will come to bother you.. That is also natural human instincts. 

Learn to love the people around you. Not in a fake manner, I also don't like fake people.. I don't have time for them. Learn to love people in all sincerity. Learn to accept people's differences. The sooner you learn to love everyone, including your enemies, the sooner you will begin to enjoy the life you live. Living with jealousy and hate towards people is only an anchor that will sink you down and drown you. Love, compassion, and forgiveness is what keeps us afloat. There is truth in this because God is love, He has compassion for us, and forgives us. 

Whoever walks with wise people will be wise, but whoever associates with fools will suffer. Proverbs 13:20

**I promised myself to keep this in mind and overcome evil temptations because God is my strength and His love is my wisdom.

From My Head to My Heart

I recently fasted social networking websites including, facebook, instagram, and twitter. It was challenging for me because I lived and breathed on those websites throughout my day. It was refreshing to take a breather from them and I quickly realized they consumed too much of my life and time. Social networking cites are not a bad thing to be part of, as long as you don’t develop a bad habit of always checking them to see what’s new. Yes, I do like them to keep updated on my friends lives.. but what I didn’t realize was I was living my life by checking on theirs. I sound really lame right now, and I was. Still am. Always will be. 

HOWEVER I am now making a conscious effort to make some changes in my life. I have greater purpose than to see the next hot selfie pic on instagram or the next passive aggressive bitchy tweet on the twitter feed. No, I will not spend my time anymore devoting my time to see the latest gossip. I instead will devote my time on my relationship with God. I have so many resources to dig deeper in my faith with God, it’s about time I put them to use! My favorite resource is my book “Daily Gifts of Hope” it’s similar to “Jesus Calling” in that it provides daily devotions that speak the truth and motivate your faith with Christ. The advice in every day’s devotion ALWAYS applies to life and has importance to all lives. I really recommend reading a daily devotion book if you’re curious of your faith.  There is so much wisdom to be absorbed from this book and I thank God for finding this gem J Anytime I am feeling down, upset, or confused, I am sure to go to this source as an escape to a more peaceful mind set. It’s pure bliss soaking in God’s word. There is NOTHING more satisfying. I promise you.

So I lost my voice two days ago. I sound like a 13 year old boy going through puberty. How wonderful. The funny thing is two days ago I prayed that I could learn how to distinguish God’s voice over mine and tune into what He is trying to communicate to me on a daily basis. Did I ever get my prayer answered by God hitting the “mute” button on me. Never underestimate God’s sense of humor. He sure is witty. BUT God knows me inside and out, better than I know my own self, so He knows I ALWAYS learn better the hard way… so here I am sounding like a 13 year old boy. I’ve never been so quiet in my life. HA I have so many things I wish to say, but instead am learning to listen to what others have to tell me as I nod and drink something to sooth my sore throat. What a good God we have. Being sick like this excites me now, though. Because I believe God is really trying to get my attention and I think it’s going to be for something really good considering I lost my voice over it. But that’s just my mind set.

As I’ve been getting older entering my 20’s I am trying to recreate myself. I’m trying to be the woman God intended me to be by surrendering all of my own selfish desires and looking to only Him for guidance. After all, you will never be satisfied trying to achieve satisfaction on your own. We are all programmed to find satisfaction through something bigger than us… Something like… GOD. So I am on this fasting kick that is my way of worshiping God in an active manner. Last weeks’ focus was social media. I will continue to put less focus on that, however surrender another bad habit I have to God. My hope is that I can subtract my poor behaviors a week at a time. Stripping myself of all impurities and focusing more of my time in praising Christ. Judge me. See how far that gets you. I am very determined to do what I wish with my life and some people may not understand my motives. I’m praying for you. Lol shtuff Christian girls say. My sister would appreciate that line at least, and so does God. So there.

Letting go of something that holds importance in your heart is impossible to do for yourself alone. We are simply not strong enough on our own. That is why when push comes to shove, any human being will make a pitty prayer to God whether they believe in Him normally, or not. It’s true. And it’s good. Because things do turn around. Things do get better. Because when we come to God for help, He provides us with strength that is unfathomable to us. But as soon as things turn around for the better… what do you do? Do you continue to come to God whether it be gratefulness for things turning around, or forget the very being that saved you and try living on your own again? It’s not easy living for God. It’s ALWAYS a swim upstream. BUT, as you fix your eyes on God more and more He provides the strength to worship Him naturally. The work you put in, is the work you get out. Isn’t that how it’s always been? That’s how it is with faith too. Want to try living life for yourself or others? Do it. See how long you stay happy. Guarantee you it won’t be long, because true happiness comes from living for God.  

Stay Strong..

Trying to stay strong when you feel like you’re broken into pieces is the most challenging and rewarding thing you can accomplish in your life. Wanting nothing more to give up because your positive tank is running low and you’ve been unhappy for what seems like forever. When is it going to get better? The truth is we never know. But God will never put you through something you can’t handle, TRUST in Him and the plans He has for you. When you let go of the plans you have for yourself and your own selfish desires and surrender to God, you will then find your strength to turn things around.

 Nothing is easy, of course. Especially when we have created how things should be in our lives and get caught up in the materialistic world around us. Sure, it’s ok to take pride in your job, style, social life or whatever it be, however make sure you take pride in whatever you do with your focus on God and not into trying to impress everyone around you or live for acceptance by peers. They can and probably will let you down at some point, disappoint you, BUT God will never turn his back on you AND will always want to reveal His love for you. He is a jealous God. God is love. He loves you more than you could ever fathom. Be grateful for that love and don’t just accept it and put it aside.

 From my personal experience, I loved my ex boyfriend more than I can put into words, but often he wouldn’t show his appreciation for what we had and it hurt me so bad. Now think of God, loving us more than we can imagine, and we focus on other things in life, not stopping to appreciate His love for us. I hope that analogy puts it into perspective for you. Nothing against my ex, he is a great person. Just not meant to be at this time. We can be so selfish at times and forget the primary reason we’re here on earth. If you believe in God and all his creation, then ask yourself, what WAS his purpose for creating this world and allowing us to live in it? We’re not here to just enjoy the simple things in life.. No. Those are just things to keep us occupied while being here. Life really begins just when you think it’s ending. 

My grandma recently died. She was a believer. Her physical body died, but her spirit came to life in eternal happiness in heaven. We often avoid thinking about life after death because it’s unfathomable for us. We’re simple minded creatures. We only see what’s in front of us, not ahead of us. It’s also a subject that is hard to bring up because so many people have such strong opinions about the matter. However, those strong opinions only seem to be relivent when the topic is brought up, but then the people continue living absent minded to what they say they believe. It is one thing to be educated on God or whatever your belief, but it is another to truly believe and live it out. That is the most challenging part. But when you discover the difference between knowing and believing you will break free of your troubles knowing God is the strength you need to get by. I’m not saying no other religion is wrong, that is one of God’s best gifts to us. We have the free will to decide what we want to live for. To me, the most rewarding thing is finding my religion in my own free will and accepting God’s love and eternal life in heaven. 

The 5 Love Languages

Valentines day..

              It was cuter when I was in first grade. But for real.

        All elementary students knew that Feb. 14th meant a day of making heart shaped crafts and eating candy. What kid wouldn't love this day? I remember handing out rocket power valentines, bought from Walmart, and giving them to everyone in class. But the fun didn't stop there. When I would get to class the teacher had us make mini cutesy mail boxes to strap on the back of our chairs so everyone could hand out their valentines treats/cards to place them in our "mail box's". Mine was Karter Fitzgerld. The bad boy in class. Lol (this could be awwkkkk if he or anyone from South Mountain Elementary school read this) OH WELL. 

Now, I don't really care to talk about valentines day in particular because in a relationship or not I think the holiday is slightly................gay.

                     Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the gifts and gestures I have received in the past& especially this year<3 However, I am more interested in the language of love than the hallmark day because I believe we should show our appreciation for the ones we care for on the D.. (daily bases) (excuse my vulgar humor) 

The love language is how you express love to others and how you feel loved by others..

There are 5 main parts to love languages *According to Gary Chapman*

      1) Words of affirmation

      2) Acts of service

      3) Receiving gifts

      4) Quality time

      5) Physical touch

Words of affirmation: Actions don't always speak louder than words to these people. Compliments or words of encouragement is key for this love language. The compliments or words of encouragement must be sincere and humble; coming straight from the heart..

Acts of service: Anything that eases the burden of responsibilities means the world to people with acts of service as their love language. In this case, actions DO speak louder than words. People with this love language seek to serve the ones they love or be served by the ones they love.

Receiving gifts: Receiving gifts does not always have to be materialistic. This love language accepts any kind of gift as long as it is sincere. The love language of gifts does not have to be materialistic either, it can simply be the gift of someones presence. It does not necessarily have to be store bought either, it can be as simple as giving someone one of your sprites from your 6 pack. It is the thought that counts.

Quality time: The time you spend with someone is valuable because time is something you can never get back. Nothing speaks love better than giving someone your full undivided attention. Quality time can be spent in a variety of ways, it has many dialects. Whether it's just hanging out, doing an activity that the individual likes in particular, or having a quality conversation if presence is unavailable (long distance relationships).
                **Interesting fact: This is my love language :)

Physical touch: Physical touch can be a thoughtful way to demonstrate excitement, care, concern, love, ext. The person with this as their primary love language isn't necessarily a very touchy person. The key to this love language is knowing where and when to touch this kind of person to make them feel comforted and loved. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, sitting next to each other, &sex are all substantial for this love language. Don't get the wrong idea, it is not all about the bedroom.


The 5 love languages captivate me because the knowledge of them helps all relationships in my life. If I can pick up on my friends and family's love languages I can understand our relationships better and help strengthen them by knowing how each person receives love.
----
If you are a book worm, I suggested reading Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages"
            BUUUTTT
If you are not, you can google it and quickly read up on more facts about each one without having to read a book cover to cover.
                ANNNDD
If you would like to discover which love language you speak here is a website you can take a quick quiz and find out for yourself ;)  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

I mean really, it isn't too difficult to figure out your love language. Just think about the one argument you have with your significant other constantly.. Whether it's spending time with each other, not holding hands enough, not having anything sentimental from the relationship, not doing enough work around the house or wherever, or not hearing those loving words enough..
               You should be able to at least get a rough idea of what love language you speak from reflecting on what your biggest complain in your relationship is.

It's a secret..Shh.

Want me to let you in on a little secret? SECRETS SUCK.
I believe it is best to be an open book and genuinely honest with people than trying to keep certain details of life on the D.L. Truthfully, this is something I need to work on as well. Once you say something whether it's a heavy boulder on your chest or a pebble on your toe, you will feel relieved.

Scientifically, the feeling of being trusted releases oxytocin, which is a chemical that helps relieve stress. AKA makes you feel relieved :)

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2012/08/10-unusual-ways-to-release-oxytocin-into-your-life/

^^ This is a blog I found to be interesting.. As you can see it's "10 unusual ways to release oxytocin". If you have the time I suggest giving it a quick skim. Skip the top part and scroll straight down to the 10 unusual ways. That is the interesting part.

I realize that not everything should be publized to your peers. Some details are personal. But in all honesty, if something is bothering you deeply the best thing you can do is talk to someone who you trust about the issue.  Someone you know who has insightful advice and wont use the information to hurt you, rather to help you. Creating that bond of trust with someone will make the both of you feel 982374938249028 times better.
Ok so maybe that was an exaggeration. But we have all opened up a little bit to someone and I guaraentee you both people felt better...

                 Because it is a compliment when someone trusts you. Hence, why oxytocin would be released and make you feel better. Relieved.

It goes both ways though, as soon as you open up to the trusted person, that person will trust you. Because you are being humble to them and sincere. Why shouldn't they be to you? Unless of course they are a bitch in some way. And of course, I have no tolerance for bitches. But that will be a topic for another day :)

&&I will be honest, I haven't had the easiest life. Talking to people has helped me. But I know my life isn't the hardest out there. I for sure haven't been the easiest child for my parents to raise.. The best friend to all my friends. The best employee to my jobs. The best student in school. I will be the first to admit to those things. And I am sorry, I am working on some of those things. Never be too hard on yourself though. No one is perfect. No one is intended to be perfect. Cut yourself enough slack for some room for improvement.

**No matter what is going on, always believe in yourself. You are capable of much more than what you give yourself credit for. No one knows yourself better than you and God of course. You know your strengths and weaknesses. Use them to benefit yourself and others around you. Not to hurt yourself and others. Insecurities are enemy. You're better than that. Whether you believe it or not, I will always believe that about you. Anyone.
            I like to help people. I'm still working on trying to find a major that would suit me, and I'm pretty sure it will be in the area of helping people because I am a compassionate person.

Pick up yer bible fool

Pay attention when the Lord disciplines you. Don't give up when he corrects you. The Lord disciplines everyone he loves. Hebrews 12:5-6
^^^^^
I couldn't be any more thankful for coming across this bible verse tonight. Lately I have felt discouraged with my walk of faith because I haven't gotten what I want from God, but to be honest, I haven't put much effort into praying and solidifying my relationship with Him. Silly how self centered humans can be sometimes. How can I EXPECT blessings from God when I don't ''work'' for them? Selfish. Shaking my silly human head. I am a fool to think I DESERVE what I WANT when God is capable of providing IMMEASURABLY MORE than what I could EVER ask for. 

Patience.
          ..patience.

      patience..

That is something I have discovered God is trying to teach me. Silly little me prayed for God to teach me patience as I can be very impatient at times. Careful what you pray for ladies and gents because God WILL teach you valuable lessons the hard way. It's the only way to really teach someone so they fully comprehend the importance of it. Nothing worth while comes easy as they say. SO be it.

COMMUNITY.COMMUNITY.COMMUNITY<<------

This is another concept God is trying to teach the importance of, to me. Unfortunately, I don't have a Christian community, or any community for that matter, in Minocqua right now. But boy oh boy am I learning how to fight a battle as a lone soldier. It's effing annoying. I hate it. But through my own decisions I have brought myself to where I am and God will be by my side through it all. I am in fact NOT alone. So I take my comment from earlier back. I am not a lone soldier, I have God. BUT I sure do feel lonely without a community.

This is where the whole patience term comes in. God is teaching me patience to not only get through this lonely battle on my own, but patience for finding that perfect community of which I belong. 
I don't feel like your typical teenager. You see, I am quite different from the rest. I always look at things from every possible perspective that I can come up with, however I get lost within those perspectives and lose touch of the correct or best perspective to see the situation from. 
This is not the quality, however, that separates me from many other teens. It is only one aspect. And an aspect that throws me off course far too often. The characteristic of looking at many perspectives could also be translated as being an open minded person... I love being a FREE SPIRIT. I would consider this to be the separation factor, however, I am much more complicated than that. 

Many girls my age are trying to figure out who they really are. Including myself. Many girls my age are insecure, selfish, blunt, stupid, pretty, smart, annoying, funny, bitches, nice (not many), and so on. I am very guilty for all the above whether good or bad, oh well. That is all part of what makes me, me. However, I am a free spirit that believes everyone should be entitled to their own free spirits and not judged for who they are. Not bitched at for what they do. Not dissected by every other insecure human being. There really is no need for "put downs" (universal term from first grade haaa) because if I have to break it down for you the term FREE spirit entitles that we are FREE to be who we are, what we are, what we strive to be. Every perfection, every flaw, every characteristic of each and every one of us is just a unique representation that separates YOU from ME. And I think that is just pure beauty. Everyone is different. Not ONE person is the same as the next. Sure, things can be similar. We can have similar tastes, but NOTHING is identical. (For you jack asses twins can be identical, but even they can be very different). 

SO, as annoying as it is when someone copies something you do. Stop yourself before you get upset and start "bitching" because it is actually the biggest compliment from anyone you can have. They appreciate your style, something about you, enough to want to make it part of their own unique style. So let it be and just smile. It might be the same item or what not, but they will wear it differently than you. It wont look the same on both of you. Because again, we are all different people. Embrace your individuality  People love being unique. The best way to fit in, is actually to stand out ;)

Instructions please..

I don't know how I got to where I am today and I don't know where I'm going tomorrow. I feel so lost in life nearing the age 20. Most people have their lives figured out by now and have a handle on things... Right? Well I thought I would by now at least. WRONG. And this lost feeling only gets worse as I compare my life to every other 20 year old around me. The way I see it, it appears that they are on the highway to a wonderful life with a perfectly planned future. I'm sitting here back home, where I started, as they are in college on the freeway to freedom. Where did they get all this direction? I want some. Did their lives come with some kind of instruction to perfection? Who knows. The truth of the matter is no one knows where they are going necessarily. They follow their dreams. Do I not have dreams? Yes, I certainly do. But everyone grows at their own pace. And blah blah blah this sounds so depressing.
I wish I could sort out all of my feelings. I can't though. That's pretty cool (sarcasm). I love nothing more than being optimistic about everything possible in life, but I hate being around overly optimistic people. I also hate very negative people. But yet I can be one of the most negative people. I really need to figure out myself. I give myself headaches how I think about things. Journalism is definitely not my cup of vodka.
I say my cup of vodka because another characteristic about me is I love having a good time. I love having fun, laughing, smiling, &anything that has to do with happiness. I think that is the key to living a good life. Love whatever you do, and do whatever you love. SO TRUE THOUGH. There is no room for disappointment or sadness when everything you do is what you love.
Think about when you were a kid.. Everything, no matter what, was fun. Because kids are creative and imaginative and will make their own fun out of anything. And they love the fun that they create. Life seemed so simple then. Playing in the pond, playing tag, playing in the tree, playing booby trap the house on mom, playing kick the can, you name it.. It was fun. Kids love games. As a 20 year old, I think I need to stop trying to grow up so fast and maybe think of things in the perspective of a kid again. Then I would probably learn to love the life I live everyday. Maybe? I really don't know because once again my life didn't come with instructions. But as you get older, you learn how to find your way more and more. Hopefully.
I was going to keep my journal private on the count of no one would be able to follow one simple thought of mine. I have so many thoughts that I'm lucky I am able to write down one legible sentence at all. I feel like out of the four paragraphs I wrote I still hardly wrote anything worth reading or typing for that matter. Lol. I am a mess. Oh well. Live on.