The 5 Love Languages

Valentines day..

              It was cuter when I was in first grade. But for real.

        All elementary students knew that Feb. 14th meant a day of making heart shaped crafts and eating candy. What kid wouldn't love this day? I remember handing out rocket power valentines, bought from Walmart, and giving them to everyone in class. But the fun didn't stop there. When I would get to class the teacher had us make mini cutesy mail boxes to strap on the back of our chairs so everyone could hand out their valentines treats/cards to place them in our "mail box's". Mine was Karter Fitzgerld. The bad boy in class. Lol (this could be awwkkkk if he or anyone from South Mountain Elementary school read this) OH WELL. 

Now, I don't really care to talk about valentines day in particular because in a relationship or not I think the holiday is slightly................gay.

                     Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate the gifts and gestures I have received in the past& especially this year<3 However, I am more interested in the language of love than the hallmark day because I believe we should show our appreciation for the ones we care for on the D.. (daily bases) (excuse my vulgar humor) 

The love language is how you express love to others and how you feel loved by others..

There are 5 main parts to love languages *According to Gary Chapman*

      1) Words of affirmation

      2) Acts of service

      3) Receiving gifts

      4) Quality time

      5) Physical touch

Words of affirmation: Actions don't always speak louder than words to these people. Compliments or words of encouragement is key for this love language. The compliments or words of encouragement must be sincere and humble; coming straight from the heart..

Acts of service: Anything that eases the burden of responsibilities means the world to people with acts of service as their love language. In this case, actions DO speak louder than words. People with this love language seek to serve the ones they love or be served by the ones they love.

Receiving gifts: Receiving gifts does not always have to be materialistic. This love language accepts any kind of gift as long as it is sincere. The love language of gifts does not have to be materialistic either, it can simply be the gift of someones presence. It does not necessarily have to be store bought either, it can be as simple as giving someone one of your sprites from your 6 pack. It is the thought that counts.

Quality time: The time you spend with someone is valuable because time is something you can never get back. Nothing speaks love better than giving someone your full undivided attention. Quality time can be spent in a variety of ways, it has many dialects. Whether it's just hanging out, doing an activity that the individual likes in particular, or having a quality conversation if presence is unavailable (long distance relationships).
                **Interesting fact: This is my love language :)

Physical touch: Physical touch can be a thoughtful way to demonstrate excitement, care, concern, love, ext. The person with this as their primary love language isn't necessarily a very touchy person. The key to this love language is knowing where and when to touch this kind of person to make them feel comforted and loved. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, sitting next to each other, &sex are all substantial for this love language. Don't get the wrong idea, it is not all about the bedroom.


The 5 love languages captivate me because the knowledge of them helps all relationships in my life. If I can pick up on my friends and family's love languages I can understand our relationships better and help strengthen them by knowing how each person receives love.
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If you are a book worm, I suggested reading Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages"
            BUUUTTT
If you are not, you can google it and quickly read up on more facts about each one without having to read a book cover to cover.
                ANNNDD
If you would like to discover which love language you speak here is a website you can take a quick quiz and find out for yourself ;)  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

I mean really, it isn't too difficult to figure out your love language. Just think about the one argument you have with your significant other constantly.. Whether it's spending time with each other, not holding hands enough, not having anything sentimental from the relationship, not doing enough work around the house or wherever, or not hearing those loving words enough..
               You should be able to at least get a rough idea of what love language you speak from reflecting on what your biggest complain in your relationship is.

It's a secret..Shh.

Want me to let you in on a little secret? SECRETS SUCK.
I believe it is best to be an open book and genuinely honest with people than trying to keep certain details of life on the D.L. Truthfully, this is something I need to work on as well. Once you say something whether it's a heavy boulder on your chest or a pebble on your toe, you will feel relieved.

Scientifically, the feeling of being trusted releases oxytocin, which is a chemical that helps relieve stress. AKA makes you feel relieved :)

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2012/08/10-unusual-ways-to-release-oxytocin-into-your-life/

^^ This is a blog I found to be interesting.. As you can see it's "10 unusual ways to release oxytocin". If you have the time I suggest giving it a quick skim. Skip the top part and scroll straight down to the 10 unusual ways. That is the interesting part.

I realize that not everything should be publized to your peers. Some details are personal. But in all honesty, if something is bothering you deeply the best thing you can do is talk to someone who you trust about the issue.  Someone you know who has insightful advice and wont use the information to hurt you, rather to help you. Creating that bond of trust with someone will make the both of you feel 982374938249028 times better.
Ok so maybe that was an exaggeration. But we have all opened up a little bit to someone and I guaraentee you both people felt better...

                 Because it is a compliment when someone trusts you. Hence, why oxytocin would be released and make you feel better. Relieved.

It goes both ways though, as soon as you open up to the trusted person, that person will trust you. Because you are being humble to them and sincere. Why shouldn't they be to you? Unless of course they are a bitch in some way. And of course, I have no tolerance for bitches. But that will be a topic for another day :)

&&I will be honest, I haven't had the easiest life. Talking to people has helped me. But I know my life isn't the hardest out there. I for sure haven't been the easiest child for my parents to raise.. The best friend to all my friends. The best employee to my jobs. The best student in school. I will be the first to admit to those things. And I am sorry, I am working on some of those things. Never be too hard on yourself though. No one is perfect. No one is intended to be perfect. Cut yourself enough slack for some room for improvement.

**No matter what is going on, always believe in yourself. You are capable of much more than what you give yourself credit for. No one knows yourself better than you and God of course. You know your strengths and weaknesses. Use them to benefit yourself and others around you. Not to hurt yourself and others. Insecurities are enemy. You're better than that. Whether you believe it or not, I will always believe that about you. Anyone.
            I like to help people. I'm still working on trying to find a major that would suit me, and I'm pretty sure it will be in the area of helping people because I am a compassionate person.

Pick up yer bible fool

Pay attention when the Lord disciplines you. Don't give up when he corrects you. The Lord disciplines everyone he loves. Hebrews 12:5-6
^^^^^
I couldn't be any more thankful for coming across this bible verse tonight. Lately I have felt discouraged with my walk of faith because I haven't gotten what I want from God, but to be honest, I haven't put much effort into praying and solidifying my relationship with Him. Silly how self centered humans can be sometimes. How can I EXPECT blessings from God when I don't ''work'' for them? Selfish. Shaking my silly human head. I am a fool to think I DESERVE what I WANT when God is capable of providing IMMEASURABLY MORE than what I could EVER ask for. 

Patience.
          ..patience.

      patience..

That is something I have discovered God is trying to teach me. Silly little me prayed for God to teach me patience as I can be very impatient at times. Careful what you pray for ladies and gents because God WILL teach you valuable lessons the hard way. It's the only way to really teach someone so they fully comprehend the importance of it. Nothing worth while comes easy as they say. SO be it.

COMMUNITY.COMMUNITY.COMMUNITY<<------

This is another concept God is trying to teach the importance of, to me. Unfortunately, I don't have a Christian community, or any community for that matter, in Minocqua right now. But boy oh boy am I learning how to fight a battle as a lone soldier. It's effing annoying. I hate it. But through my own decisions I have brought myself to where I am and God will be by my side through it all. I am in fact NOT alone. So I take my comment from earlier back. I am not a lone soldier, I have God. BUT I sure do feel lonely without a community.

This is where the whole patience term comes in. God is teaching me patience to not only get through this lonely battle on my own, but patience for finding that perfect community of which I belong. 
I don't feel like your typical teenager. You see, I am quite different from the rest. I always look at things from every possible perspective that I can come up with, however I get lost within those perspectives and lose touch of the correct or best perspective to see the situation from. 
This is not the quality, however, that separates me from many other teens. It is only one aspect. And an aspect that throws me off course far too often. The characteristic of looking at many perspectives could also be translated as being an open minded person... I love being a FREE SPIRIT. I would consider this to be the separation factor, however, I am much more complicated than that. 

Many girls my age are trying to figure out who they really are. Including myself. Many girls my age are insecure, selfish, blunt, stupid, pretty, smart, annoying, funny, bitches, nice (not many), and so on. I am very guilty for all the above whether good or bad, oh well. That is all part of what makes me, me. However, I am a free spirit that believes everyone should be entitled to their own free spirits and not judged for who they are. Not bitched at for what they do. Not dissected by every other insecure human being. There really is no need for "put downs" (universal term from first grade haaa) because if I have to break it down for you the term FREE spirit entitles that we are FREE to be who we are, what we are, what we strive to be. Every perfection, every flaw, every characteristic of each and every one of us is just a unique representation that separates YOU from ME. And I think that is just pure beauty. Everyone is different. Not ONE person is the same as the next. Sure, things can be similar. We can have similar tastes, but NOTHING is identical. (For you jack asses twins can be identical, but even they can be very different). 

SO, as annoying as it is when someone copies something you do. Stop yourself before you get upset and start "bitching" because it is actually the biggest compliment from anyone you can have. They appreciate your style, something about you, enough to want to make it part of their own unique style. So let it be and just smile. It might be the same item or what not, but they will wear it differently than you. It wont look the same on both of you. Because again, we are all different people. Embrace your individuality  People love being unique. The best way to fit in, is actually to stand out ;)

Instructions please..

I don't know how I got to where I am today and I don't know where I'm going tomorrow. I feel so lost in life nearing the age 20. Most people have their lives figured out by now and have a handle on things... Right? Well I thought I would by now at least. WRONG. And this lost feeling only gets worse as I compare my life to every other 20 year old around me. The way I see it, it appears that they are on the highway to a wonderful life with a perfectly planned future. I'm sitting here back home, where I started, as they are in college on the freeway to freedom. Where did they get all this direction? I want some. Did their lives come with some kind of instruction to perfection? Who knows. The truth of the matter is no one knows where they are going necessarily. They follow their dreams. Do I not have dreams? Yes, I certainly do. But everyone grows at their own pace. And blah blah blah this sounds so depressing.
I wish I could sort out all of my feelings. I can't though. That's pretty cool (sarcasm). I love nothing more than being optimistic about everything possible in life, but I hate being around overly optimistic people. I also hate very negative people. But yet I can be one of the most negative people. I really need to figure out myself. I give myself headaches how I think about things. Journalism is definitely not my cup of vodka.
I say my cup of vodka because another characteristic about me is I love having a good time. I love having fun, laughing, smiling, &anything that has to do with happiness. I think that is the key to living a good life. Love whatever you do, and do whatever you love. SO TRUE THOUGH. There is no room for disappointment or sadness when everything you do is what you love.
Think about when you were a kid.. Everything, no matter what, was fun. Because kids are creative and imaginative and will make their own fun out of anything. And they love the fun that they create. Life seemed so simple then. Playing in the pond, playing tag, playing in the tree, playing booby trap the house on mom, playing kick the can, you name it.. It was fun. Kids love games. As a 20 year old, I think I need to stop trying to grow up so fast and maybe think of things in the perspective of a kid again. Then I would probably learn to love the life I live everyday. Maybe? I really don't know because once again my life didn't come with instructions. But as you get older, you learn how to find your way more and more. Hopefully.
I was going to keep my journal private on the count of no one would be able to follow one simple thought of mine. I have so many thoughts that I'm lucky I am able to write down one legible sentence at all. I feel like out of the four paragraphs I wrote I still hardly wrote anything worth reading or typing for that matter. Lol. I am a mess. Oh well. Live on.